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‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’ image courtesy of 20th Century Fox Okey dokie, since I’ve now actually seen Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, I am ready to do that thing we writers do where we rank all of a filmmaker’s given films ascending order of greatness. For the record, I am including Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas even though it was directed by Henry Sellick, although I am otherwise only including films that were directed by Tim Burton (sorry Cabin Boy fans). And, as always, this list will not be the same as your list, because what would be the fun in that? And without further ado, here we go Also On FORBES.

Planet of the Apes (2001): 20 th Century Fox Budget: $100 million Domestic Box Office: $181 million Worldwide Box Office: $362 million I talk a lot about how Tim Burton movies were groundbreaking in one way or another, changing the industry for better and for worse. Adobe flash hack for ppc software accounting pdf. Aside from being one of the first modern reboots, this Mark Wahlberg sci-fi spectacular is awfully close to being the first version of what I like to call Generic Blockbuster: The Movie.

The special effects are fine, but the storyline limps along with little urgency, and Burton seems almost afraid of making a movie that will replace the 1968 original on the critical totem pole. Couple that with far too little action, and you have a depressingly bad “reimagining” whose most redeeming quality is its “what the hell” ending that confused the entire world. Alice in Wonderland (2010): Walt Disney Budget: $200 million Domestic Box Office: $334 million Worldwide Box Office: $1.025 billion I wish I could say that this critically derided mega-hit has improved with time. While I love the fact that Walt Disney lets screenwriter Linda Woolverton pen righteously angry feminist fables with blockbuster budgets, this one strikes out.

The core problem isn’t the cast (Johnny Depp is fine, folks) or the effects work (although the 3D did it no favors). No, the problem is a story in which Alice (Mia Wasikowska) flees to “Underland” to escape from her preordained destiny only to spend the rest of the film being told by her fantastical friends that she must fulfill a “kill the monster” destiny. And the film does little to entertain until she finally engages in a J.R.R. Tolkien-ish battle. Dark Shadows (2012): Warner Bros./Time Warner Inc.

Budget: $150 million Domestic Box Office: $80 million Worldwide Box Office: $246 million The cast has a hoot in this adaptation of the classic vampire soap opera, and I love that the vast majority of main characters (played by Eva Green, Michelle Pfeiffer and Chloe Moretz among others) are women. But after an intriguing “Tim Burton movie set in the real world” beginning, the film plays like a soap opera, complete with copious scenes of characters standing around explaining the plot. The film villainizes Eva Green’s bewitching business tycoon while lionizing Johnny Depp’s bloodthirsty revived vampire as the rightful heir to the family business. Moreover, the film positions Green’s aggressive and strong-willed villain with Depp’s (much younger) reclusive and “comely” love interest (Bella Heathcoate) as the biggest example of “virgin/whore” dynamics this side of The Town. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) Walt Disney Budget: $18 million Domestic Box Office: $75 Worldwide Box Office: NA Yes, yes, I know the stories, and I know the rhymes too. Each time I’ve watched this film, since October of 1993, I kept hoping this would be the time I fell under its spell. But alas, gorgeous visuals and catchy tunes notwithstanding, the film is 66 minutes of a delusional psychopath whose stupid plan goes stupidly.

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Jack Skellington’s moronic scheme has no legitimate chance of succeeding. He is shocked when it doesn’t work and doubly shocked when the three goons he hired to kidnap Santa Claus indeed took Claus to their murderous boss. Oh, but he’s a hero because he briefly cleans up his mess at the last minute. Come what may, Nightmare Before Christmas is an exercise in frustration.